I felt anxious yesterday. This is a very full week I am facing (from here until next Tuesday there are big things to accomplish) and I've got some sort of head cold that has me quite foggy.
I deal with anxiety, a lot more than I ever say out loud. (It is partly why magic is so crucial for me.) So I said it out loud yesterday morning to my husband because he is familiar with anxiety too and he is a safe place to land.
Today I pulled the word LISTEN and I was glad I did.
Listening requires paying intense attention. I needed something to pay intense attention to besides my anxiety.
I listened to my body asking for yoga, and I moved slow and hatha-like.
I listened to this crackly leaf that had blown into my kitchen, on the floor right beneath my refrigerator. I painted it with coffee and watercolors and then added some lines with colored pencil.
I listened to a UPS man say, "Speedy delivery!" just like Mr. McFeely on Mr. Rogers used to say.
I listened to a smooth rock that said, "Pick me up, so you can rub my edges when you get anxious."
I listened to pink roses that said, "Take me home and replace the wilted ones."
I listened to the tall religious candles say how nice it would be if they could keep vigil for me, and then I listened to the blank one, without any religious sticker of Saint So-and-So adorning it, tell me that it would in fact be best for me.
I listened to church architecture that begged to be painted in the future.
I listened to my request for a mixture of chamomile and ginger tea.
I listened to and fulfilled my desire for minestrone soup.
We watched half of Sleepless in Seattle, and I listened to this quote said by Tom Hanks and thought it was worth keeping close to me and my anxiety for as long as necessary: